November 10, 2014 was the last time I blogged. Yeesh.
Something is on my mind and it feels heavier than usual, so I'll jot it down here in hopes that maybe, just maybe, someone might benefit. Of course my motives are selfish because I just need to get this out of my head.
Why is it that we are so moldable?
I find myself trying really hard to be true to who I am. Trying to be honest in all interactions whether it be at work, at home, with friends, around strangers, at church, what the heck even at the store. But then there are times where it is so easy for me to try to fit the mold that others put out, and I believe this to be a very natural thing we all tend to fall into.
-Am I going to be accepted by these people?
-Should I keep to myself and avoid any awkwardness?
-Do I even try to put myself out there?
-What if they don't like what they see?
-Am I going to be fun enough?
-What can I do or say to draw attention to myself?
-Do I have to lower my standards to not look like an oddball?
-What do people see in me?
And then Amandine becomes something she isn't.
Last night I stayed up late, sitting in my bed, trying to wrap my mind around these thoughts.
Who am I?
It has never come to me so strongly.
It made me seriously question myself for the first time in quite a while.
Who am I??
Am I being truly honest?
Can't I just be true to myself?
Food for thought I guess...
